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Writer's pictureGhislaine Bouskila

Decision making


There is nothing worse than the idea that you have to make a drastic decision in order to relieve the pain you are feeling.

I know the pain is so big it’s unsustainable!

It’s feels difficult and scary to stay with it. It's so necessary in order to move it.

Avoiding it makes it lodge itself into your cells and allows it to grow exponentially. Like mouses in a drawer full of food that you have decided to not open because you are afraid of them!

They will eat everything and then you will end up starving from the pleasures of life.

There is no choice, open the drawer and meet the part of yourself that is there in the dark waiting to express itself.


Meeting your shadow self is the most profound act of love you can give yourself.


Enter the relationship with the qualities of patience, open mindedness and gentleness.

Remind yourself that movement is key. Emotions need to move through your body. Give them a platform so they can express safely.


Give them a consciously connected breathing body.


Breath is your ally. It will hold you safe so you can stay with the sensations in your body. Connected breathing is key to allow the shadow self to feel contained in its expression of fear and the other emotions deriving from it.


There is preparation prior to this moment.


Sometimes, you can feel it come. Slowly the world becomes a little darker, less enjoyable. Your body might become heavier, you may feel fatigued for no reason. Tired from life, living and trying and not getting the results you want.


Sometimes, you don’t feel it come. You were so driven that you didn’t notice you were running out of steam and you find yourself in a dark hole. No light, can’t see the exit sign, you eyes are wide shut with all the self deprecating crap you are telling yourself and yourself or about the world around you.

Your breathing is shallow, your relationships feel boring.


What started it?

Exhaustion, trying too hard, an unexpected bad news might be the culprit.


It can also be, on the bright side, the signal that for you reach another level of creative life you need to purge some deep wounding.


It's the beginnings of an emotional love affair.


It’s too hard to love yourself, (or others) when you are exhausted or fixated into an outcome that seems to go farther and you seem to get closer.

Some will call this self-sabotage, it’s actually the shadow self needing clearing and letting us know about it.


The door to freedom will only open with one key: self love.

Awareness of how you feel and what is going on for you is key to transformation.

It’s important to remain a gentle friend to your process.

If you don’t, the risk is that you will blame others for your unhappiness and misfortune. This is when you think that a drastic, irreversible and often cutting decision needs to be made on order to relieve the suffering you feel. This is when you miss a great opportunity for healing.


The door to freedom will only open with one key: self love.


Suffering is a sure sign that we are ready to let go of fear. Fear that unbeknownst to us has been passed down from generations above without our consent or knowledge. 

Our fear, everything that is a reflection of a lack of love.


We are multi layered. It’s incredible that we pass our time wanting to put ourselves or others into a box with a clear label. Unless we update it daily, it can become a lie, an excuse. We are life and life is movement!


Everything within us changes and moves at all times.


We constantly discount the well hidden secret that we as human being have the ability to change our circumstances.

We do this with our thoughts.


We are the only living species on earth that has the gift of the thinking mind. The intellectual intelligence.

I know it's not always good news as it’s our thought processes that often get us into trouble in the first place.


We think all the time. Most of it (95%) remains in the unconscious realm below the level of awareness.


Listen to the suffering.

Write it down in your journal, talk to a wise friend or to a great therapist.

Don't fully believe what it says.

Remain self-responsible for everything that is happening in your life.

Remember, if you blame others or life, you are missing an opportunity for the light to come manifest in you. Don't worry there will be plenty more occasions to do this!


I am of course discounting all situations where you are actually in danger.

Staying with the pain. Consciously breathing into it, slowly, deeply and with a generous attitude of curiosity will unlock the shadow self, often the inner child needing of nothing else but love. Our love.


Love is key to transformation

Patience is key to healing

Self responsibility for what happens in our life is key to growth.

Conscious connected breathing is key to liberation.


We are divine selves having a human experience. That experience is felt in the body though our emotions which translate as sensations.

To connect gently, breathe.

To right the wrongs, breathe.


We only need to do it for ourselves each one of us to change the world.


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