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An innocent heart

Updated: Jul 14, 2019

I love it when I can wake up a little more from the collective unconsciousness of the addiction to suffering.

Today, in my morning meditation, I busted whatever I had left over of the hard done by feeling, the victim consciousness, the one that isn’t receiving what it needs.

I metaphorically opened my eyes and noticed the abundance in my life.

I opened my heart to what I have instead of looking for what is not yet happening, instead of focusing on the struggle of what I cannot manifest and that I firmly believe should be the next step in my life.

I opened my eyes and saw that actually everything is perfect just the way it is. Believing that my day is exactly as it should be gave me courage, energy and hope.

This is a much better feeling than activating feeling defeated, unable or impotent.

In my morning meditations, which are really small breathwork sessions, I sit up and connect with the rhythm of my breathing, my life force and I change the past.

I willingly use the energy of my heart to allow for the truth of my feelings to come up. As I let myself feel, I relax, I breathe. When I breathe into my feelings, relaxing my muscles, my thoughts ease up, they change and transform naturally.

They don’t feel as true as they felt at the beginning of the Conscious Breathing session. The energy of inner power frees up. I question the validity of the thought and I have a choice staying with the painful memory or creating a new one.

I start changing the memory of early childhood which created the trauma, upset, shame or guilt at the base of the fear or anxious thought.

Just like that! It is just a decision, a will of the heart to create change.

I realised that it is very possible to change the past and give our sub conscious mind different memories. This does wonders for the nervous and the immune systems. It creates new foundations, a solid beginning, a state of peace and relaxation because the sub conscious mind doesn't know the difference and totally accepts the new memory as true and real.

I detach from the addiction to pain and suffering.

I actively create new habits that are based in loving myself and in believing that we are all innocent.

At the Global Inspiration Conference, I attended a couple of weeks ago in Joshua Tree, California, I had an amazing realisation.

During an unusual breathwork session, where I was dancing and breathing, I felt my feet deeply grounding onto the earth. So much so that I had to stop dancing, my feet wouldn’t move anymore. I felt anchored, my favourite feeling!

I was grounded, solid and in my body, no one could have pushed me over.

And from that awesome sensation I felt a deep inner knowing of truth arising, the understanding at a cellular level that we are all innocent.

I am innocent, we are all innocent!

The phrase kept on coming in my mind involuntarily.

I couldn’t stop those words taking over my mind stubbornly.

Are we not angels in a human body playing the game of life as well as we can?

Then I got in touch with my birth script, again. I had felt guilt and shame for being born a girl, the wrong sex! My parents desired to have a boy. Was I conceived for the sole purpose of fulfilling this wish? Who knows but I certainly took the disappointment of all involved at heart.

The story goes that the family and friends who came to visit gave their condolences to my mother.

My mother was laughing about that silliness after a while but the damage for the little girl was done. She believed she was wrong, she was a disappointment and had created pain for the people she loved the most. She needed so much of their love.

Even if the unpleasant surprise lasted a minute for them, the damage was done for the little girl’s nervous system, keeping her in fight/flight/freeze, unsafe and doubting herself.

The natural way for an over active nervous system is to I create a pattern of compensation so you can survive trauma. I created the belief that it was better, safer, more reasonable to be invisible then to be out there in the light, noticed for all the wrongness I believed I was.

Breathwork or Conscious Breathing saved my conscious life. I had my first session in 1998 and I could start regulating the locked breathing patterns that had kept me in survival. I started opening with the breath areas in my body that had been closed down.

I had been breathing just enough to survive and now I was experiencing breathing to live.

It took me several years to unlock the wall of independence that I created around my heart.

Breathwork, kinesiology and the different processes I have studied along the way have had for unique purpose to help me heal and then in turn to support others in their healing journeys.

My body expressing with different chronic diseases since the age of 15 was also a good drive for me to understand life.

The immune system responds to the energy of love.

Being focused on giving and shy about receiving, creates an energy imbalance and the perfect terrain for opportunistic infections to strive.

Creating healthy boundaries becomes a necessity.

Realising that we are innocent at birth and as a human being, made me also realised that all those involved around the drama of my birth were also innocent.

Confused but innocent.

Nothing is done purposefully as a mean to hurt others.

Now is the time to reclaim your innocence, your beauty and the right to live a joyous life simply by being who you are even more than you ever though was possible.

Breathe, question what keeps you sad, doubting or unhappy.

You have the power to change it all. Now.

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